Pokémon: The Harsh Reality within Cuteness

I know this post has nothing to do with the Angelic Guardians series (which I will update you on that later on this month), but many of us know Pokémon and its Japanese roots (hence Pocket Monsters in AG, a major pop culture reference).

In a way, I'm ashamed to admit it and in a way, I am not, but I believe it's time for me to come out and say this: I'm a 26-year-old woman who still plays Pokémon video games. In fact, I have several games for my three DS Lites, and four cartridges for my Gameboy Color.

Yes, I'm a nerd.

Unfortunately, my hometown does not appreciate nerdom as other cities in America do. It's like a disease you don't want to catch because it's contagious. And I'm sorry, fellow gamers, for saying this, but the days of Dungeons & Dragons and live-action role play are pretty much over. Rarely ever will you find hardcore teenage gaming addicts, unless you count those who are big on the Halo and Modern Warfare series. Teenagers these days are into social networking of the various kinds, whether it'd be Facebook, Tumblr, or Twitter... which reminds me, I still need to log onto MySpace and check on my account. There might be several cobwebs that need to be taken care of from last year.

That being said, it's not easy being me. It never has been; never will. I might as well accept for who I am and move on with my life and my love for Pokémon. Actually, there was a time in my life after the release of Pokémon Gold and Silver when I got bored with it. I'm not sure if it was because the storyline was longer than Red, Blue, and Yellow, or if it was the fact that there were new Pokémon to catch, which would require me to sit down and study their stats, strengths, and weaknesses.

Or maybe it was the time when my classmates found out I liked playing the games and added more fuel to the fire that was part of the darkest days of my teenage years, but it happened. One day, I was not even halfway through Gold, and I decided to turn off the game and put it away, never to play it again. I even gave it, along with my copy of Blue and Yellow, to my sister for her to keep. I eventually got them back, although I'm tempting to ask her if she has any interest in keeping her copy of Red and Silver...

I stayed clean and sober from my gaming addiction throughout high school and halfway through college, but after my first year of college, the bug was starting to bite me again. One of my closest friends and coworkers at Indiana Beach (and dare I say, he is the cutest nerd I have ever met, nearly perfect to a T in my book) would come into work with his Gameboy Advance and play Pokémon FireRed and other games from the Generation III era. It was like toying around with a cat by dangling catnip. It was torture.

Our third year together came, and he told me to get a Nintendo DS and a copy of either Diamond or Pearl and get back on the bandwagon so we could play against each other. To this day, I have only beaten him once, but I'm still waiting for our Lv. 100 battle once his collection is restored and his personal Rome is rebuilt.

Since then, I have collected Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, and White for my DS consoles. At the moment, I'm working on White, and I take it to my night job and spend my break trying to level up a slew of Pokémon for my next gym battle. The only problem I run into is my coworkers, most of whom are teenagers.

I have one coworker in particular who is a major prep. It's bad enough that I get teased for being too weird, too reserved, and too stupid for their liking, but this girl just baffled me. A while ago, we were sitting at the break table, and she asked me why I'm still playing a kid's game.

Okay, so I admit: Pokémon is cute unless you catch one of the ugliest or creepiest monsters there is in your choice game or when your cute Pokémon goes from being pretty to badass or gross. But the more I think about it, the more I see something rather morbid and disturbing behind an invisible curtain.

A picture of a Pokémon battle from my copy of White, featuring Isis and a wild Purrloin.

I think the best way to describe Pokémon to today's teenage generation is nothing more than just a cute version of illegal dogfighting. It's the only time I am ever allowed to play the bad guy to my "pets". Now, most of us have enough common sense to know that if we were to capture a stray dog or cat and use it to fight against the biggest bully of the school and his bulldog just to see who's better than the other, we would more than likely be reported to the local authorities for animal abuse. In Pokémon, there is no law against it, although you could consider the Pokéball as the Pokémon's traveling cage.

Let me show where the subliminal message comes into play outside of the canon games, or as I would like to call fandom:

1). The creepypasta known as Tarnished Gold. As one fan put it so nicely, this would have probably been the training video for Team Rocket, the antagonists of the original Pokémon series. Tarnished Gold is told in the point of view of Silver, the son of Giovanni (leader of Team Rocket) and the rival of Gold. He doesn't see Pokémon as friends; he sees them as tools and is taught to not get attached to them. They're basically only good for battling. Because there is a lack of emotion between Trainer and Pokémon, nine times of out ten, a Pokémon will be released (or possibly killed) if the Trainer sees it as being weak. This mindset was later used for the character Paul in the Pokémon Diamond & Pearl anime saga, who was allegedly modeled after Silver and was considered as the coldest Trainer Ash Ketchum had ever encountered. Gary Oak might have had his flaws, but Paul was really a jerk. I mean look at what he did to Chimchar, a starting Pokémon for crying out loud! Then again, Charmander pretty much went through a similar situation when Ash found it in the rain and its flaming tail nearly doused. Somebody call the ASCAP on these guys.

2). The fanmade live-action movie Pokémon Apokélypse. Hardcore fans know that Ash would never turn this dark as a grown-up, but you just can't help but wonder what would happen once you've reached adulthood and you start to see the darkness behind Pokémon battles. It's truly sick to watch your beloved Pikachu suffer blow after blow, despite of the number of battles it has won, until it's nearly dead from exhaustion. And if the theory about Gary's Raticate in Red, Blue, and Yellow is true, Pikachu might not live by the time you've made it out of the arena and found the nearest PokéCenter, providing there is still one that's open. Be glad the games blackout if you lose a battle and send you back to the PokéCenter because in reality, there is no blackout and there is no PokéCenter. You're just left with your dying pet at your feet, and chances are it'll be too late to see your local veterinarian.

3). The video game Pokémon Colosseum and its sequels. Alright, so this isn't really fandom, but it's not technically canon either since there isn't a storyline... Never mind. It's Pokémon. So, where was I? Oh, yes. Pokémon Colosseum.


For goodness sake, let's just call this THE ultimate underground dogfighting tournament in the Pokémon world. Even the Battle Tower in Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum ranks up here! There is no need for me to describe it except you get to move it off of the tiny screen of your DS to a hugeass flat-screen TV on your Wii! That's certainly a nice way to show your Dialga getting its butt kicked by a Giratina to the world. I have an idea: let's just show this at our local sports bar & grille since this doesn't involve real animals. No, Fluffy or Tabby are not involved, but that doesn't mean your kids won't try and teach them how to fight against their best friend's pet if they see this as they're trying to finish their buffalo wings.


So, to all you teenagers who think Pokémon is for kids, it's not. It's just that the cuteness is blinding you from the truth, and I think that is the exact reason why Satoshi Tajiri made it that way: the cuteness prevents us from seeing the ugliness of the world we live in. (And as a side note to myself, it's no wonder parents in the United States praised the heavy editing of the first season of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers in 1992 when its original Japanese counterpart Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger showed gruesome scenes that would have scarred American children for life.)

Just take off your rose-colored glasses and have a look for yourself. You might need a copy of one of the games and possibly a DS to do it, though. I can almost guarantee you that $200 in your wallet won't go to waste.

An Original "Angelic Guardians" Creepypasta!

A few days ago on YouTube, I came across a Pokémon hacked game called Pokémon Creepy Black (Cursed Black to all you aspiring game designers). To date, the concept is the best my 25-year-old self has ever seen: you have not one but TWO starting Pokémon (Bulbasaur/Charmander/Squirtle and an unknown Pokémon named Ghost in the form of one of the Pokémon Tower ghosts prior to receiving the Silph Scope), and, depending if you choose to use Ghost, you curse (actually, you kill) both Pokémon and trainers, including your rival during your last match (you know they're gone when you see a tombstone in their place after the battle). After defeating the Elite Four and your rival to become the Pokémon Champion, time passes by, there is no one left in the overworld (Mom's not even at the house when you finally arrive in Pallet Town, which implies she's passed on at this point), and it's your turn to join the others. You, as an old man, face Ghost without any Pokémon, items, or the option to run away. You use Struggle, but Ghost isn't affected by the attack and you're struck with recoil until you're down to 1 HP. Then... Ghost curses you. In the end, you die, and the screen goes black, much like the reality of our lifespan on earth. That final battle against Ghost is nothing more than your encounter with the Angel of Death or the Grim Reaper (whichever you prefer) who has come to take you away to your grave.



What I didn't know about the game was that while it was a hack, it was also a creepypasta. Okay... what IS a creepypasta? Creepypasta is an internet term used to create negative and uneasy feelings to readers in a similar reaction when you read Goosebumps. So, being the twisted person I tend to be, I found more Pokémon hacks based on these creepypastas (I totally recommend Lost Silver for those who are big fans of Unown and show major hatred toward Gold), and soon I became addicted. And if you want to see more of these creepypastas, go to the 6th Floor. There are lot of myths and stories that gave me and some of my friends chills.

Now, that being said, there is one Pokémon creepypasta that inspired me to write my own using my series. It's called "Hypno's Lullaby", which goes along the line of Hypno's Fire Red Pokédex entry: "It carries a pendulum-like device. There was once an incident in which it took away a child it hypnotized." Incidentally, there have been several videos made to bring this creepypasta to life to the tune of the Lavender Town Theme song. It's bad enough the Lavender Town Theme has unbelievable but freaky creepypastas written about the music and how it led to the mass suicides of children in Japan, but to combine it with "Hypno's Lullaby" only adds onto the implied pedophilia.

My creepypasta? I like to call this one "Paipa's Lullaby" (or "Piper's Lullaby" in the English/Western adaption). And who is Paipa? Paipa is a piper-demon who works for Deiraira (or Delilah to all you Yankees) in the first part of Angelic Guardians: The Awakening. His main mission is to search for Seijitsu's chosen vessel, but when he is first introduced, his M.O. was to kidnap the visiting children of Roganu Beach to lure the Angelic Guardians in that area out of hiding. Of course, this mission fails, but because Deiraira has favored him out of all her demons, she hands him the task to search and destroy (better yet, manipulate) Seijitsu.

Essentially, Paipa is very much like Hypno in their respective creepypastas: they take on the role of the fictional children's book character the Pied Piper and lead the children away from home through a certain form of brainwashing (Paipa --> his wooden flute; Hypno --> his pendulum) to their doom. And, so without further ado, here is my first attempt at writing a creepypasta. I hope you like it, and I totally recommend you listen to the Lavender Town Theme song while reading and reciting this poem. (And if you need help doing that, listen to "Hypno's Lullaby".)

Paipa's Lullaby

Here, little children, don’t be afraid

Paipa’s here with a tune to play

Away from bed where your head once laid

Mama and Papa won’t know you’re away

Dear little children, why so scared?

Paipa won’t touch a single hair

He loved you all when nobody cared

He won’t let you see just how life’s unfair

Dear little children, follow me

And hear my joyful melody

On my flute of wood I’ll play, you see

I bring happiness to everybody

Dear little children, won’t you come

To a great world with loads of fun

Free rides for all and candy for some

Always in the night and no need for sun

Dear little children, foolish you were

Left your beds for a tune you heard

An ageless fate you will now suffer

And slumber in my curse without a word

DISCLAIMER: All (original) characters and plots belong to L. D. Smith ©2011.